The Bryant's.

Operation: Nursery

2011-12-04T17:20:00.000-08:00

This is such an exciting time! Can't wait until it all comes together! :) We're getting there - wanted to share a few pictures of what we have so far! Enjoy!

[click to enlarge]

We have kicking!

2011-11-27T12:33:00.001-08:00

It took me a bit to decide if it was actually thumping from our sweet baby to be or my body twinging, but kicking won! I started feeling them during week 22 and they've consistently gotten stronger and more frequent; I love it.

I thought I felt the baby kick for the first time last Sunday but wasn't for sure. Thanksgiving night Jamie and I were sitting on the couch getting ready for Black Friday, via the web, and after a bowl of cereal, the kicks felt stronger than ever. Just after midnight early Friday morning, I felt him on top of my tummy! And Jamie did too. He gasp and the look on his face was precious. It was such a beautiful moment! We felt our son!

Today, he has been so active! We played Christmas music and nursery rhymes for him this morning and he, I think, heard loud and clear as he moved so much and we felt him kick from on top of my tummy about 7 times. I've felt him since several times. I love it. Simply love it!

We're half way there!

2011-11-14T11:16:00.000-08:00

Typing this, it just does't seem possible. I'll be 21 weeks tomorrow, 19 to go. I guess it's going by quickly but at times it seems to drag by; mostly in between appointments and ultrasounds.

We had gender confirmation at our 18 week anatomy scan and sure enough, it's a boy! We paid for a private scan at 16 weeks and although it was pretty clear it was a boy, we we're happy to receive confirmation from our OB. Our anatomy scan was perfect. All body parts are measuring to date and he is very active. I started feeling different sensations at 19w5d, that I associated with movement. Over the past few weeks, I feel stuff going on down there. Sometimes definite flutters or the occasional "thump", but seems like all the time, something. I can't really explain it. There are quiet times and I'm sure that's when he's sleeping. I still have a small bump, nothing too pronounced yet. Of course, I'm waiting for the day that I wake up and have "the bump".

We've officially started on the nursery! I love it! Our original bedding choice had actually discontinued when we went to purchase it but we found something we like equally. The colors are bright, but soft. The theme includes a sweet baby owl and bird. It's quite adorable. We purchased the crib 2 weeks ago and our other furniture is due to arrive next weekend. It's all starting to come together. We're also registered at Babies R' Us and Target.

I'm not one to wish my life away but I seriously can't wait until March when we get to meet our sweet son.

We're having a boy!

2011-11-13T05:24:00.000-08:00

A sweet baby boy!

Emerson Reid Bryant

We can't wait to meet you, little one! ♥

16 weeks already?

2011-10-10T18:09:00.000-07:00

I chuckle as I say that. Each second seems like weeks but yet here we are, 4 weeks shy of the half way point.

Unbelievable!

The new job is going great. I'm officially off training and on my own as the new HR Manager for a major auto parts industry. Different world, different people, different role I now play. It's been a huge change from my past and a bit overwhelming at times. But I love it and am so thankful for how quickly the opportunity presented it to me after being laid off [unexpectedly] in July. Thank you, Lord! ♥

As for sweet baby, aaaah. ♥ Everyday, I imagine holding my precious angel for the first time. I honestly can't wrap my mind around the love that I will know I will feel at that moment. And here I think the love I feel now is amazing. I know it's no comparison.

We are 16 weeks and all is well. [Again, thank you Lord!] I've only gained 6 lbs; which I lost the weight to help us conceive so I'm not gonna complain. Our gender scan is this Wednesday and I'm just so stinkin excited! We can't wait to share this special moment with our momma's! For the record, I have felt since early, early on it's going to be a boy. Names are picked out and ready to go. Our anatomy scan is Wednesday, 10/26. We will get to see everything from the little cute nose, tiny fingers and precious toes. Of course, announcement and pictures to follow.

We're doing great!

2011-08-30T13:44:00.000-07:00

After 3 ~~extremely long~~ weeks, our 2nd ultrasound was yesterday and it went great. Sweet baby was measuring ahead 4-days, which makes us 10w5d today. The last week of the first trimester officially begins next Friday! That is so exciting! :) We heard the heart beat for the first time [bpm: 164] and that was the single most beautiful moment of our lives. Sweet baby was moving around all over the place; which was so beautiful to watch! I could have ultrasounds everyday!

As for life, my position with Concord went to PT the end of July, due to a loss of several major contracts. 5 people lost their jobs, 2 took pay cuts and I was fortunate enough to hang around for a bit longer. I've interviewed with 3 places, 1 of which I will be going to Atlanta this Friday for a 4th round. It's looking good and will be a step up in my career as well as a great opportunity for Jamie and I. I'm a little nervous. The "confidence monster" is setting in and trying to whisper I can't do this; but I know I can. I have for over 10 years so I say bring it! It's one day. I can do this. I have to admit, I was very, very disappointed my company lost so many contracts and so many jobs were affected. But everything happens for a reason and I believe this is all in God's plans for us, especially at this time in our lives. The position is in Knoxville, so no panicking, we aren't moving!

So, in my days home I've been watching our best friend's children 3 days a week. Thomas is almost 2 and Emalee is 4 months. It's lots of fun and takes my mind of being bored at home. I do work for my job off and on during the day and a few hours on Thursdays. We're doing well. God has continued to provide for Jamie and I. We are so blessed.

This Saturday kicks off Football and with fall just around the corner, I am one happy gal! We are some football crazed folks so this is our favorite time of the year! Speaking of, how cute is this maternity tee for football season! It's on my "wish list" :)

Moving right along

2011-08-16T06:17:00.000-07:00

Not really a whole lot to report the first trimester, so sorry for the lack of posts. I know they will pick up soon!

We had our first OB appt. on August 8. The Dr. and staff were fabulous! All my labs came back normal. We didn't have an ultrasound that day, like we thought. It is scheduled for August 29.

I've sailed through so far with no morning sickness. Fatigue and increased urination are my main symptoms. According to the old wives tale, no morning sickness = boy? ;) We'll find out in October...and I can't wait!

1st u/s video

2011-08-04T16:09:00.003-07:00

We took a short video to share this beautiful moment with you.

The happiest girl in the world.

2011-08-04T10:03:00.000-07:00

First, I think I can safely say I am the happiest girl in the world. We got to see our sweet, precious baby today during our first u/s and the sweetest heartbeat. [140 bpm] Momma got to share this magical moment with us; thank you for coming!

I was 2 days further along than I thought, [6w4d] so my new EDD is March 26th. 7 months and 2 weeks to go! ;)

Doing fantastic!

2011-07-28T14:29:00.000-07:00

Little sweet babycakes is growing so beautifully. Beta #3 yesterday was 5,962.

Fatigue has really set in. I'm in bed by 8:00 every night and making it through the afternoon at work has been incredibly hard. I must say, I'm enjoying the extra Zzzzz's! :)

A numbers game

2011-07-26T08:24:00.000-07:00

Symptoms have arrived. And, I must say, I'm loving every minute of it, even if they aren't always the most pleasant. When I've waited my entire life for this moment, I'll happily take them! My very first symptom, is the gas and bloating. I feel I've gained 10 lbs., when in fact I'm down a 1 lb. All the hormones, Progesterone inpaticulary, slows down digestion, in order to provide nutrients to the baby, leaving lots of gas cramping and bloat. It's the most uncomfortable at this point. I am slowly starting to tell a difference in my energy level. Mostly, in the afternoons and evenings, I've been napping. I've also been getting up 2-4 times each night to go to the bathroom. I've had a few waves of naseau, but I think that arrives in a nother 2-3 weeks. So far, so good!

Tomorrow is Beta #3 and I can't wait! Please remember the tests in your prayers, that everything is doubling like it should and that our P4 levels continue to climb. God's got this, I know. But a little extra prayers never hurt! After tomorrow, only 7 days until our first ultrasound!

Over-the-moon, giddy!

2011-07-23T18:57:00.000-07:00

As of today, we have 248 days to go, but who's counting? ;) The whirlwind, that has been this week, has finally settled down and the reality that oh my goodness we're having a baby, has settled in. I have to admit after a 10-year journey, the first day I was in shock, perhaps denial. After 10-years of negative after negative after negative, finally, a beautiful positive. Ahhh, I'm gonna be a momma! ♥

One of the things I am most excited about is the nursery. If I could, I would decorate it tomorrow. I seriously can't wait until the 2nd trimester gets here so we can start decorating. I find myself "window" shopping online already. It may be a bit too premature but I'm excited, dang it!

We've had a good weekend. Jamie went to the movies with dad, Dean and the boys. I had plans to watch a movie here at the house and give myself a pedi, but that turned into a lovely 3 hour nap. The afternoon we rented a few movies and stayed home.

Nice, quiet and relaxing weekends at home are always the best.

More good news!

2011-07-21T07:18:00.000-07:00

This morning was my BETA #2. In early pregnancy, doubling BETA numbers (quanative HCG levels, or pregnancy hormone) confirms a growing pregnancy. They look for doubling numbers every 48 hours. Mine came back at 800. Beautiful! It more than doubled since Tuesday. BETA #3 will be next Wendesday. Dr. Harris said at this point it looked like a singleton [whew!], but HCG numbers aren't always conclusive. Everyone so far has me pegged with 2 or more, since we did have 5 eggs this cycle. I know however many we have, we've been beyond blessed and know the good Lord will see us through it all.

"For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him."
1 Samuel 1:27

Super exciting upcoming appointments:

My very first ultrasound, August 4. (6 1/2 weeks)

My very first OB/GYN, August 8. (7 weeks)

Bloodtest Results

2011-07-20T08:39:00.003-07:00

My BETA (quanative HCG pregnancy test) confirmed pregnancy, 377.4, P4 levels, 30. Gorgeous! I go back tomorrow, 7/21 for more bloodwork to ensure my BETA numbers are doubling, confirming a strong sustainable pregnancy. Is this a dream? *sigh.

The big.fat.positive!

2011-07-20T08:37:00.000-07:00

O. MY. GOODNESS!

WE'RE HAVING A BABY!

After 3 positive home tests and a positive BETA blood with our RE, 10 years of marriage, 2 years of progressive fertility treatments, lots of money, emotions and prayers - WE'RE EXPECTING!

Looking good....

2011-07-11T08:32:00.000-07:00

IUI went well. E2 levels confirmed 5 eggs at time of ovulation, I actually got the "twin talk." That was exciting! Now, long two week wait. Blech!

P4 - Another beautiful month, 24.3!

Gorgeous.

July 2011

2011-07-10T08:29:00.000-07:00

CD 1 started June 21, 2011. This will be our last mixed cycle, Femara 5 mg, cd 3-7, Repronex, 8-11. Lots of eggs this cycle, more than I've ever had - with 5-6 mature by ovulation. 19 million sperm count, E2 levels, 242. IUI scheduled 7/3.

Beautiful...here's hoping

June 2011

2011-06-20T08:29:00.000-07:00

We were able to move immediatly into our 4th IUI after surgery. We continued with a mixed cycle, Femara 5mg cd 3-7, Repronex 8-11. CD 11 scan revealed numerous small eggs, with 3 mature by ovulation. Sperm count, 14 mil. P4 levels, holy heck - 24!!!!! The HIGHEST EVER!!!!!!

Dr. said due to my weight loss and surgery, my body is responding fabulously.

However, IUI, sadly another negative month....

Moving on.......

Surgery, success!

2011-06-08T08:06:00.000-07:00

Both tubes were successfull unblocked and mild endo and scar tissue found was also removed. The surgery was a success and we immediatly were able to start on our 4th treatment! Surgery was May 20th and AF arrived May 22nd. I took Femara 5mg cd 3-7, and Repronex cd 8-11. My cd 11 scan was 6/1 and showed 5 follies, 2 -12s, 1-14, and 2 -17s. I triggered 6/2 and my IUI was Saturday morning, 6/4. Hopefully, the 12s caught up and I had 4-5 eggs instead of 3; although I was very happy with 3. The IUI was smooth and now we are in the lovely 2 week wait. My RE was so excited this cycle, stating numerous times this was my best ever. The weightloss (-70 to date) played a huge role in more mature follies on time, vs. my normal cd 14 scan with only 1-2 mature. In addition my successful surgery, she is very, very confident my BFP will come within the next 3 - 6 cylces; stating the first 3 will be my best chances! Like us, she is hoping this is it! We are feeling super awesome and hope this is it!

Hope everyone is doing well! I've not been on in weeks. Between work, school, church and treatments, it's been busy. I really need to catch up soon!

HSG - Unexpected Answers

2011-04-15T12:10:00.000-07:00

I would gladly take kidney stones again anyday over the horrid HSG experience I encountered yesterday.

I arrived at the hospital at 7:00 to register. From there, I went back to Radiology and waited for about 10 minutes before being called back. I was kind of bummed my sweet husband couldn't go back with me, when they called me back to change. From there, I went to the room the procedure would be done. My doctor ran about 45 minutes last so I struck up conversation with the Rad Tech. She was a success story; I always love hearing those! She had an HSG last October, with slightly blocked tubes. They were able to clear out with the dye during the procedure and she got her BFP in November. She was great to talk too!

So the doctor gets there, I'm anxiously awaiting on the table. I slide to the end.....spread, deep breath and there went the speculum. It's always uncomfortable for me, but manageable. They slide me back under the x-ray and from that point I really don't remember much other than I thought I was about to die. The pain that I experienced, is undescribable. My hands clamped on to the table while my midsection thrust up in the air, hoping the pain would stop. I was moaning in pain, I know. It. was. horrid. They kept telling me to breathe through it, it would be ok. This lasted for what I thought to be 2 minutes, which seems like hour when your in pain. They at that point explained to me that my tubes were blocked and they were trying to flush open with the dye. Before I could even breath from the first round, the pain was back, one last attempt to unclear my tubes. No luck.

I sat up, in tears. I was queezy and honestly, to the point of passing out. They were very sympathetic and ensured I was ok before going over the results. I was cramping SO bad at that point. It was just horrible.

Results: My left tube is 100% blocked. My right tube 90% blocked.

I never understood after 12 years of being with my husband and 10 years of activly pursuing a pregnancy, why they didn't do an HSG before my first IUI in July 2009. Especially after finding out these results, It kind of angered me for a split second. But instead of dwelling on the past, we decided to stop our current treatment [today is cd7 in which we were to start shots] and wait for a new cycle to start; surgery will be scheduled at that time. We are very, very happy and hopeful to have possibly identifed the main factor in our inability to conceive. Being diagnosed with Tubal Factor Infertility has a high success rate of conception, post-op, if there is no further damage to the tubes and the blockage can be removed. In fact, I read the rates are 60% within the 6-months following surgery. So, knowing we are going from 0% to 60% sounds awesome to us! We can begin trying again the first cycle post surgery, if I've recovered well.

So, that's where we are. Another short wait but we have more hope now that we've ever had.

HSG Scheduled

2011-04-13T11:46:00.000-07:00

My HSG is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 7:15. I'm so nervous. You Tube and Google doesn't do much for calming ones nerves. It's a quick procedure that I've heard leaves you painfully crampy for the day. I'll take it, though! This will bring any issues to light and "clear out the cobwebs" in my tubes. IUI's are most successful the first 3 months following an HSG. I'm taking the day off to rest tomorrow.

I'm excited.

One more step closer to starting our family.

Here we go...

2011-04-11T11:46:00.000-07:00

So after a long 50 day cycle, including 5 days of Provera and a 4 day wait, my cycle finally arrived April 8th! I don't think I was ever so anxious for it to get here....and hope it's the last one for 9-months. ;)

I started Femara yesterday [cd 3-7] and will advance to Repronex, cd 8-10. My HSG is scheduled for Wednesday, depending on status of flow. Hopefully everything will be where it's supposed to be and normal and any tiny debris will be cleared out for a successful cycle. The IUI success rate is at it's highest within 3 months of an HSG. I'm hoping ♥ My IUI will be either next Tuesday or Wednesday, depending on follie maturity at Sunday's ultrasound.

We ordered our donor sperm today and I'll have my follie scan this Sunday. Last cycle I had 5 eggs, perfect lining and Progesterone was at it's highest. I hope I have 5 or more eggs this cycle as well. I'm so nervous. This journey is emotionally draining and my mind never stops. I'm either obsessing over the twinging in my ovaries, baby names, nursery themes. Wanting this soooooooooooooo bad, it's so hard not to have your every thought consumed.

If you could say a little prayer for us, we would be so grateful.

♥

And we're off!

2011-03-30T11:45:00.000-07:00

We are officially on our way to our 4th fertility treatment. With my weightloss, I feel comfortable to move forward. Hopefully it has reversed some, if not all, of the PCOS symptoms. I feel so, so confident this could be our month. What a wonderful 10th year wedding gift, a positive pregnancy test?! The gift of a precious baby! The beginning of a family....I'm so excited!

As protocol requires I had to take a pregnancy test last night in order to start Provera today, which will induce my cycle since I'm on cd41. It was negative, of course, and so the nurse called first thing this morning and had already phoned in my Rx to my pharmacy. I stopped in on the way to work and day 1 pill, success.

Our last treatment, which has been almost a year ago, I weighed 258.8. I've lost 25% of my weight and now weigh in at 198.3. God leads our journey and knows our hearts desires. I pray it be his will to bless us with such an incredible gift. Amen.

Yes, I'm still alive.

2011-03-28T11:05:00.000-07:00

So I probably have no followers left. Yikes! In the event I do, I hope all have been successful in your fertility journey. I have so much to catch up on.

What a wonderful year we've had. We are moving forward with our 4th fertility treatment as soon as my next cycle comes. April holds our 10th Wedding Anniversary and what a blessing it would be to get our BFP! I've lost over 60 lbs. I am now in the 100s and am very hopeful that it will aid in our fertility journey.

I'm excited to see what God has in store for us.

dropping by to say hi

2010-07-16T17:41:00.000-07:00

Sorry I went MIA; we've taken 2 months off after our last BFN :( We will start again next month, Lord willing. I am happy to report that this last month I had a perfect 28 day cycle ON MY OWN - which means for the first time in my life, I ovulated on my own! What a blessing!

Thanks for all the sweet comments and concerns; sorry I left everyone hanging.

Looking forward to catching up next month! I hope everyone has had lovely months and many success stories; I really can't wait to get updated.

Third time our charm?

2010-05-25T09:44:00.000-07:00

TTC update: We had our third (and hopefully last) IUI this morning; everything went wonderful. Our sperm count was 18million; which was wonderful for a donor purchase! That's the highest count we've had and are so excited! So far this cycle has had all good numbers! Hopefully my next two tests, P4 (6/1) and the Beta (6/8) will be perfect as well. This could be our month! The chance for a singleton with 5 follies/IUI are 50-60%; that's up from 10% with 1-2 follies.

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths". Romans 3:5-6

Weigh in: I lost 3.6 lbs. my first week!

Feeling beachy: 7 days left; aaaah....i.cannot.wait.

holy, cheese!

2010-05-21T06:34:00.000-07:00

TTC update: Briefly, this cycle was Femara, cd3-7 and Repronex 150mg cd 8-10. I had the longest AF cycle ever after arriving 2 days ~~late~~ post Beta due to Prometrium. Even on cd8 I was still spotting. But the Femara hadn't been making my ovaries twinge and cramp like it had my first 2 cycles. And even with the Repronex, I hadn't felt hardly any cramping at all; I didn't think it was working. I had my cd10 scan today (cd 11 fell on Saturday so it was one day early) and I have 5 (F-I-V-E) follies! To date, I've only had puney follies and at the most, 2 (last month was maybe 3). I am SO happy. So, So, So - happy! (Thank you, Lord!) I will take injections tonight and tomorrow and trigger on Sunday. My IUI is scheduled for Tuesday morning. I feel really good about this cycle. My doctor was very happy.

Weight Watchers: I have had a perfect week back on WW. I am down already but will officially weigh-in on Sunday. I'm very proud of me and happy I've finally found the motivation to do this!

I want my toes in the water.....

2010-05-17T07:56:00.000-07:00

Lovely Weekend: Jay and I had a lovely, lovely weekend. Let's start with Friday. His birthday is June 3 and we found a super, awesome last-minute vacation deal for Myrtle Beach. (we were hoping for a gulf-coast destination, but we'll take this!). We leave on the 2nd and return the 6th. There will be no plans other than my butt. in a chair. on the beach. for 5 days. Awesome news...my Beta will be the 7th; what an awesome birthday present this would be! Saturday, J treated me to a Seafood place in Pigeon Forge and we ended up in North Carolina. It was a rainy day but even the rain doesn't take away from the beauty of the mountains. It was a perfect day. Yesterday, we went to church, had lunch, went grocery shopping, went to the movies, cleaned 2 rooms, went to the book store and still had time to take a nap! It was the longest day ever but was wonderful! I picked up the book Crazy Love. I had heard so much about it; I can't wait to read more tonight.

TTC update: AF showed up last week on Wednesday, so I didn't have to wait too long after my (-) Beta. I ordered my injectables on Tuesday and they weren't supposed to arrive until this week, Wednesday at the latest. Although we wanted to go with an injectable only cycle, with the shots not guaranteed to arrive by cd3 and my RE office not having enough to get me through to this Wednesday (when shots were supposed to arrive) we decided we would go with a mixed cycle this month and if I didn't have at least 3 plump follies, we would skip the IUI this month and go for an injectable only cycle next month. So, I started Femara cd 3-7 and will do 2 Repronex injectables daily in the hip, cd 8-10. My scan is this Friday, 5/21 (I can't believe it's here so soon) and my IUI should be this weekend. Here's the funny thing, my injectables actually got here Friday day, but the Post Office didn't send an email with the Attempted Delivery Notification until like 8:30 Friday evening. I had my RE paged and she said it was too late to start the injectable cycle. Next, I ordered our donor fishies today (my donor was available) and I got 1/2 shipping....that made for a happy surprise, especially after last months ordeal. Femara hasn't made me all twingy and crampy like the first 2 cycles did; so I am kind of nervous about that. Is it working? Do I still have eggs down there? Is this month going to be a flop? Not totally stressing over it but it's there in the back of my mind...I hope it's doing what it's supposed to be doing.

Beach Bound: If going to the beach in 15 days doesn't kick my arse into gear, I don't know what would. Not only am I so motivated to loose whatever is (healthy) humanly possibly to loose in 15 days I am equally as disappointed that I let my weight get this high. I'm discusted. Those 2lbs here and 1lbs there, have added up and I am not happy at all. In addition to the C25K program I am (attempting) to do (it kicks major butt if your are the C part of that equation) I rejoined WW; actually the online program this time. I'm not expecting a huge loss between now and when we set sail to the ocean, but any loss is better than gaining and it will make me feel better knowing I am on the right path. I lost 40ish the first time around on WW (2005), kept it off for over 3 years and since, nothing has worked. I just have to remain motivated...that's where I fail everytime. Not this time.....

Off to catch-up on your blogs. Have a blessed week.

just when I thought...

2010-05-10T13:59:00.000-07:00

this was my month to get a BFP; turns out Prometrium can increase your LP. My beta was this morning - the Dr. called around noon. Turns out, my 2nd BFN. Yes, still no AF. Apparantly, when increased from 100mg to 200mg daily, your LP can be affected....this I did not know. I was so convinced....even the slight cramps I had been having I thought was normal...at least everyone in Google land said so....I was sad but didn't cry. Maybe I knew deep down it wasn't going to be my month. But...I am ready to wipe away the sadness and move foward. My therapy this month will be aggressive. We are moving straight to injectables by passing the mix-therapy (of both Femara and Injectibles). I am very happy with this. I don't want to dilly-dally. I would rather spend the extra $ and see results vs. playing around with lesser therapies. But, until next my next ultrasound, my next lab, my next Beta....faith will lead my journey. This wasn't my month; I am completely content with that. I am in God's hands.

7dpIUI Labs

2010-05-03T17:13:00.001-07:00

My P4 levels came back 10.8. Yes, 6 points higher than my first IUI but not as pretty as I was hoping. My Prometrium was increased to 100mg twice daily.

My dr. wants a 15; so hoping this cycle, if implanted/going to implant will be viable until my Beta this next Monday. I've read a lot of success stories with lower P4's; so I'm not totally bummed just yet.

I met two lovely cysters this morning in the waiting room who had successful pregnancies on Femara/IUI. I want my successful cycle with Femara/IUI. Next week, we will have to move forward to injectables. I pray I will get my positive! I pray this will be my month!

Sent from Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

expensive tastes.

2010-05-02T16:50:00.001-07:00

I don't understand how America can harp about our nation's obesity problem when a grocery bill more than doubles when you buy only healthy food. This was my experience today. In the event I get my BFP this month or in the effort to be healthier going forward to our 3rd cycle...we bought only things fresh or healthy and nutritious. Our bill, over $250. This includes fresh fruits and vegi's, seafood, whole grain rices and cereals, yogurt, etc., and enough for about 2 weeks. After our trip today, I see the climb in obesity not only related to our unhealthy choices, but how expensive it is to make better ones. I'm happy for a kitchen full of delicious and good-for-you foods but no so much the funds forked over in the process.

We still have plans to get a small garden out this summer. I need to nudge Jay a bit harder to make it happen. Produce is the most costly!

My P4 is bright and early in the morning. I've been on Prometrium since 1dpiui; I hope my numbers will be good. The dreaded two-week wait hasn't been horrible; almost 7 down...much better than the first time around!

Sent from Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

swim little fishies, swim!

2010-04-26T09:47:00.000-07:00

Hi. Sadly, I am not writing from my cozy bed; duties called and I had to come into the office post-IUI. The last time I choose to lay down for hours afterwards; hopefully it doesn't really matter.

Hope everyone had a great weekend. I have a lot to catch-up on as I didn't get much online time; I can't wait to catch up on my reading and my sweet comments. Thank you all!

So, IUI went wonderful. I got there at 8:00 and after our fishies were thawed and washed, I got called back around 10:15. The count was 15 million. I was very happy - last donor was 14 million. I'm pretty sure I ovulated on time after triggering Saturday night. Note: I don't think we triggered in the right place the 1st cycle, because it didn't hurt. This cycle did. I pray this month is our BFP - because we move on to injectibles next month and a shot for 10-days straight in the rear doesn't excite me. ~~i'm kind of a baby to pain~~. But gladly anything for a little baby. I am to start Progesterone suppositories tomorrow night, 100mg and my P4 test will be 5/3 @ 7:45a. My Beta will be 5/10 @ 7:45.

Please disregard the horrible hair day! Given the circumstances, these photo's of me aren't very good but are needed to document our journey.

Pre-IUI; awaiting RE

swim little fishies, swim!

this is during the procedure.

I have happily entered the 2 week wait. Fortunantly, I have learned patience; hopefully, that will pay off.

I really might have, what?

2010-04-23T06:58:00.000-07:00

Happiest Friday, to you! I'm enjoying the beautiful blue skies before yucky storms set in over the weekend. If you don't know me in real life, I am petrified [yes, still at the age of 30] of storms. And being caught in a tornadic storm a few years ago, it's only made things worse. I guess I'm almost embarassed to admit this fear, but we all have ours. Just to say, this doesn't work well because my Jay loves storms. Go figure.

Today is cd15. I woke up early this morning to tinkle and noticed there was no twinging, cramping, zilch, nada - going on down there, especially following a rather active day. Could I have actually ovulated, on my own? I am not set to trigger until tomorrow but I feel nothing. When I was getting ready this morning, I still felt nothing. There was a bit of CM during my early morning potty trip, but none now. I called my RE first thing and requested an u/s to see if indeed, I did ovulate. They called and had me run over for a bloodtest for more accuracy. I should know the test results this afternoon. Should I be happy I [may have] actually O'd on my own or bummed that we might not get to do our IUI cycle? I will not borrow worry; I will update as soon as I get the call.

It saddens me that so many other couples have to experience the IF journey. I am so thankful that we have such a wonderful support system through blogging. All lovely comments give me so much hope and encouragement; so thank you.

Have a beautiful weekend. I can't wait to catch up on reading your blogs. Wishing all success in weekend IUI cycles and positive results to those waiting.

*update: I didn't O on my own....trigger is scheduled for tomorrow night with my IUI Monday morning.

I think I am ok with this.

2010-04-21T07:56:00.000-07:00

First of all, welcome ICLW! This is my first month participating. I am so excited to have found such a fabulous support group; it means the world to me. I look forward to visiting your pages and getting to know more about everyone.

My cd13 ultrasound went ok this morning. I have more eggs than I have EVER had which I am happy with. In addition to a bunch of small eggs, there were; however, only 3 [could be] dominant. I have a 10mm and 12mm on my right side and a 12mm on my left. I will trigger on Saturday [which will bring all to about 16mm and 18mm) and my IUI will be Monday. My RE seemed to think the 10mm might not be ready, which confuses me....isn't 16mm good? Also, my lining was 6.5. (which is better than last cycle)

My husband is very optimistic. I maybe went in wanting more than I got; which sucks as I wanted to cry when I didn't hear "you have 5 x 18mm follies". I'm so unrealistic. What a weirdo. & being on Femara I know I am not going to get those results. I did that last time and set myself up for an emotional crash. But, I did have one more good follie this time and a bunch of small ones - in which last time, I only had 2, period. So I am happy with this. Jay is very, very optimistic - and I need that; he's so wonderful.

tomorrow is the big day.

2010-04-20T14:20:00.000-07:00

I am on cd12 and I have not totally freaked out and obsessed over this current cycle. I think I actually [actually being stressed] learned patience from our last cycle. And for that, I am very proud. Insert: pat on back. This doesn't come easy for me; I am ~~the most impatient person in the world~~ a very impatient person.

Tomorrow morning is cd13 ultrasound, I am sick-in-the-pit-of-my-tummy-nervous. What if all these twinges have been phantom? I'm pretty sure all the action going on down there has been very much real. In fact, I actually felt right side action, in which I have never, ever felt before....and pretty much daily on both sides, since about cd4. I am also happy to report EWCM. This is also a first for me....CM - always, EW, never.

Hopefully I will be reporting back a successful, lovely follie count on the 7.5mg dosage.

For now, I hope sleep will come tonight and the nerves stay bundled away.

perfect weekend.

2010-04-19T08:19:00.000-07:00

hope everyone had a perfect weekend. Mine, was wonderful. Saturday night we had friends over for our first cookout of the season. The weather was perfect. The company was great. Sunday we spend most of the day at the in-laws. They live on a big farm; I love going over there!

Only 2 more days until my ultrasound; here's praying for an abundance of beautiful, plump follies! :)

o, guess what?

2010-04-16T07:35:00.000-07:00

My little swimmers and my trigger shot arrived today; yay! I get excited over simple things; but these joys help make it through the nerves.

It is an absolutely gorgeous day. In fact, the past 5 days have been nothing but clear skies and sunny. What a beautiful break from the extra long, dreary winter we had. We've taken advantage and worked out in the yard all week. We planted 4 trees, some new flowers [sadly, by 3 hibiscus didn't survive the frigid winter], added a new rocking chair to the front porch, a new flag; all's came together beautifully. this weekend is supposed to be a bit cooler, so we might hit up our drive-in theater; that's such a fun spring/summer time venu to have locally.

Wishing everyone a lovely, spring weekend!

my obsession.

2010-04-15T11:08:00.000-07:00

So i'm sitting here ~~working my ass off today~~ at the office and feel every twinge my lower regions are making. and so i have came up with a philosophy that the Femara is at work making an uber amount of eggs and they are growing. that's what i feel.

this is one of the things that i hate the most; the over-analyzing-obsession i have that seems to come along with TTC. last cycle i drove myself crazy. so much to the point that i was so devistated that we werent pregnant i had to take a 8-month hiatus. this is obsurd. i can't even work for blogging, writing on message boards, asking Dr. Google, searching BFP stories. it's a crazy never ending cycle.

im sure my employer would not appreciate this. but, sorry - i'm addicted.

how do you cope with consuming your every.waking.moment with research. or, are you in the same boat?

we have a winner!

2010-04-14T08:15:00.000-07:00

after my BP lowered and i could again focus on the issue at hand, we hit the Catalog o' spermies head on the last few nights to hopefully find someone close [even if just a little] to the first donor we selected.

the outlook was not good.

so we began our search and we searched for hours.

and hours.

and more long, gruesome hours.

the hair? wrong! the eyes? wrong! medical history? sketchy!

even the ones that i might have made an exception for....no sperm available!

so we walked away. ate dinner. i fussed some more about the unavailability of our first donor.

and we takled it again.

this time.

we sat down. logged in. and boom.

there was donor #perfect.

donor #perfect has perfect everything. hair, eyes, origin, family history, personality, adorable baby picture, awesome medical history, impressive education background, career, etc....

it was love. i was happy.

the situation has been handled.

we found a (probably even more perfect donor than the first) new donor!

insert: a huge sigh of relief.

we have ordered and all is set for Friday delivery.

i then reminded myself that "all things happen for a reason".

& I was furious.

2010-04-13T06:45:00.000-07:00

i totally had a melt down yesterday.

let me explain.

as you know, my husband suffers from male factor infertility. so, we get to go through the grueling process of identifying a sperm donor via a selected cryobank all in addition to my PCOS and ensuring I O via lovely meds.

our first cycle last summer we spent hours researching donors. i felt overally paticular and maybe kind of bitchy about our selection process - but my body. our deleima. our decision. it's a huge decision. someone you don't know playing the major role in our having a baby. in a way it's creepy to me - but im more greatful we have this option; so i was cool with it after all. well, we identified our perfect donor. his personal profile so much like Jay. his family medical history, beautiful. his physical traits, mirrored Jay. the price of this donor was within our budget.

having to order our vial this Thursday for overnight delivery, i hopped online yesterday to order and if his price did not read $560. what? how in the heck could a donor increase $340 in 8 months?

so i called.

i was told that the candidate was now placed within the "Options ID" category, which allows the "offspring" to contact the donor at the age of 18. So, they charge $340 for something they allow. they didn't bother to check with the person purchasing if they wanted that option, which in our case, we don't. they didn't notify those who had purchased this donor of a price increase nor would they honor the price w/o this crazy option.

my BP rose 50 notches.

he was perfect. and not that we can't get this donor but our budget is our budget and i can't spend $800 on a tiny vial. this journey is already expensive.

so, here we were 3 days before our delivery - left searching for yet another.

*sigh.

Here we go!

2010-04-09T12:00:00.000-07:00

Here's an update, as promised. I am writing from my bed. it's official, I have the flu. I haven't felt this horrible in years. I hope the meds kick this so I can feel better...I way more exciting things to focus on.

My RE called me back this morning and I am to start Femara 3 per day (7.5) cd 3-7. My ultrasound is scheduled for 4/21. I'm going to order my trigger today and spend this weekend deciding if the donor sperm we choose last time really, really is the one we want. This is such a huge, huge decision; really nerve racking. I read so many horror stories of low sperm counts. Ours was 14mil last time, and I was fine with that, but apparantly most consider that low. I wished they came with more than a 10mil guarantee.

I am so excited. I got my "Baby Bryant" journal and folder I was keeping everything in from our 1st go around and saw the pages and pages of names I had "narrowed" it down too. Ha! Silly, I know...but I have to say that 7 pages out of the 15 books I had checked out at the local library, isn't.bad.at.all.

Let the fun begin!

happy news!

2010-04-09T04:42:00.000-07:00

good morning, friends. AF arrived this morning! eek! i was hoping another week but i was over that in about two-seconds when my eyes filled with tears and realized after months of waiting, we can try again for our precious little one.

i am going to call the Dr. as soon as 8:30 rolls around and will report back.

any cycle buddies?

needles, where?

2010-04-08T08:57:00.000-07:00

still awaiting our cycle. but, this is good news. i want the Metformin to get back in the game and do what it's supposed to do. note: i need to research what exactly that is. sad: i've been on it for like a bazillion years, one would think i would know this. so, i'm still pushing for the end of next week. i think it's doing something since i haven't started yet. with PCOS craziness i have going on, cycles tend to come on a bi-weekly basis.

so i've been reading alot on acupuncture lately. it all seems crazy and painful to me, especially since i do not - i repeat, do not like needles. but im so curious. there are so many articles talking up the history and benefits, in addition to my sweet friend who is also TTC; that they have kind of talked me into an appointment. you can read about it here.

like most, anything i can do that would help get a big. fat. positive.

but needles? there? where? what?

any personal stories? please share.

i just realized something.

2010-04-07T12:40:00.000-07:00

that we have been married for nine years.
nine years
and still don't have babies.
i am so thankful we finally found an RE that we love and are on our 2nd journey to fight this madness to have a precious bundle of cuteness.

thinking of the years that have passed - i am kind of upset that we didn't pursue treatments in 2005 after we found out hubby had no fishies. i haven't told many people this, but Jay wanted to wait to test again, due the finality of the results. he is a man; he is supposed to bear children - these were his thoughts. then we found out about the exploratory retrieval surgeries that could be done; and he just waited. and waited. and waited to give me an answer. finally, after 3 years - he said no. i was never upset at him. never. just the amount of time that had passed. we have lost so much time. i am so thankful we are back to this point.

everything is going good. we are waiting for my cycle to start, which i hope isn't until the end of next week - just to make sure Metformin is back in the game. i'm over the tummy aches, thankfully.

i found out that my RE can store the donor sperm, but it is $400/month. so, that isn't a cost savings. we are still up in the air about our decision to stay with the same donor or choose from the lab in VA; is $90 in savings worth changing our minds on a donor we were really, really happy with?

we've spilt the beans about trying again...but only to a few - our parents, bf's, and a few co-workers. they are of course excited. i am reading alot on IUIs. I know there are lots of "things to try/do" during a infertility journey; if i can do anything that will help with this 2nd IUI; i am on it!

spermies on the mind.

2010-04-03T08:33:00.000-07:00

We have began our donor search again. First of all, I am totally stressing that we can only order donor sperm, one cycle at a time. In budget terms, that is a whopping $246 shipping cost, per cycle. After 3 cycles (if needed) that would pay for a 4th IUI cycle. This doesn't sit well with me. I remember my RE saying at one point they could store for up to 6 weeks. When I called Thursday I wasn't told this. I will question again.

I fell in love with our donor we chose the first cycle. He had physcial features of both Jay and I, had a wonderful family history - health, mental, education, and had successful pregnancies reported. We may go with the same donor, after all it was probably 99.7% more my body's fault for the BFN than the donor, but we continue to look. Jay is always in good spirits and is never anything but positive and supportive; I know this must be so difficult for him. I'm blessed with such a wonderful husband.

Met is now my friend?

2010-04-03T06:41:00.000-07:00

As most, Met doesn't like me. It wrecks havoc on my stomach, leaves me nauseous and running to the bathroom way to often. I am on 1500mg daily, in which I take all 3 at bedtime. I have to confess, since our last attempt in August, I kind of went off. I've tried since but couldn't steer my way through the yucky symptoms. I'm happy to report since Monday, I started taking 2 and all week - symptom free. Glorious! Taking it with lean protein has been the key! I will increase back to 3 this Monday. I've been reading alot that Met has helped with weight loss. I've not seen this at all...perhaps because I take the XR at night? I might call the RE on Monday and ask...I'd really like to loose!

Our new beginning....

2010-04-02T08:37:00.000-07:00

Because it took me just shy of a year to try this again, I removed all previous posts of our first IUI journey. So, sorry if it's a little empty around here. After loosing the 4 y.o. foster child we were hours away from the start of the adoption process to our first official BFN; I had a really ruff year. Last night, I finally packed the final pictures of our foster children and put them away. I spent sometime with God afterwards and prayed for strength and courage to move forward.

Diagnoses:

Her: PCOS Him: Male Factor Infertility

How we got here:

After 2 years of dating, Jay & I married in 2001. We knew we wanted children and started trying right away. By 2005, there were no babies. I made our first appointment with a local Fertility Specialist in the spring of 2005. Jay kindly donated a sperm sample and I went through a lovely physical exam. It was confirmed that I had Polycystic Ovaries (PCOS) and I was placed on Metformin. I was also given Provera to induce a cycle as well as Clomid, to start on cycle day 4. A few days passed and we received a call stating Jay's sperm count was negative; confused, I stopped Provera. Thinking the results were incorrect, we requested to be tested again through our PCP. Sadly, the test results came back the same.

Jay was devastated; I was confused. This is where our journey began. In 2007, we made the decision to become foster parents and was blessed with several precious children. During this time, having the luxury of staying at home, I consumed myself with research on infertility and PCOS. We had been told of several sperm exploratory and retrieval surgeries for Jay. The goal would be to hopefully retrieve sperm, if indeed there were blockages, then proceed with IVF. This procedure in addition to the In-Vitro, was insanely expensive; neither of which our insurance covered; I also understood his views on the sense of finality he would feel, in the event of unsucessful retrievals. We researched embryo adoption; this is the direction I wanted to purse, as both the egg and sperm would be adopted. We were then introduced to sperm donation and Interuterine Insemination (IUI). I allowed Jay to make this decision, since donor sperm would be involved; after months of prayer and discussion, we decided to begin our IUI journey.

In September 2008 our darling foster children were reunited with birth family, one day before the adoption process was to begin. Our hearts were shattered; our hands tied. In July 2009, we made our first appointment with our new RE, who had came highly recommended. Actually, during this time, my neighbor was currently pregnant with triplets, after a 5th successful IUI and drug therapy.

July 21, 2009: Our first appointment was scheduled with a different Fertility Specialist than we first saw in 2005. It was confirmed that with a sperm count of zero, exploratory surgery wouldn't even be considered. Fortunately, we had earlier decided the direction we wanted to pursue and had identified the perfect donor. My Metformin was increased and I was to start Femara on cycle days 3-7.

July 25, 2009: Cycle day 1

July 27, 2009: Started Femara thru Cycle day 7.

August 13, 2009: Cycle day 16 ultrasound - 2 follies, 14 & 16; Trigger Shot in evening

August 16, 2009: Our first IUI

September 2, 2009: Beta - Negative; Started new cycle early AM.

Our second cycle was to begin in September, however an uncooperative work schedule interrupted the cycle day 16 ultrasound; so this month was not successful. At this time, we decided to wait until after the holidays and start again after the new year.

April 1, 2010: Anxiously awaiting my cycle to begin to proceed with our 2nd IUI. Restarted Metformin; 1500mg.